Reduce Your Anxiety! The Sensate Focus
You do need to keep on doing this for as long as it takes to develop the skill of just being in the moment (or, at least, being more in the moment).
Relax, relax, relax, and be in the moment….
Initially, before you try sensate focus, you need to let your thoughts and your body relax. This may be as easy as breathing in and out, but the truth is that the level of relaxation we’re talking about here is a lot deeper than the casual relaxation you might enjoy when you sit down after a hard day’s work to watch TV, say. This kind of deep relaxation takes a little time and effort to achieve.
Whatever method you use, you will start your sensate focus sessions by emptying your mind for fifteen minutes, and continue to use the relaxation techniques throughout the exercises that take place eventually.
You can develop the art of relaxation through deep breathing. There are several methods you can utilize:
First Method for Relaxation
Lie down on the bed, on your back, and breathe slowly and deeply. If you want, you can put your hands on your tummy as you deep breathe: deep abdominal breathing can be far more relaxing than shallow chest breathing, and you can feel your diaphragm rising and falling with your hand.
Each time you exhale, relax more and more. As if you are exhaling all your worries all away! Focus on your breathing. Every time you become aware that your attention has wandered, gently “grab” it back to your breathing, with a gentle note to yourself that the reason of what you are doing is to be in the moment. Put your attention briefly on the places in your body where you feel the stress, and feel them relax as you become aware of them. Keep practicing for fifteen minutes or so, until you feel more relaxed.
Second Method for Relaxation
This is the exercise that can be effective for treating impotence, and it’s what most psychologists would advice.
Lie chest to back on your sides with your wife on the bed in the spoons position. You’re both facing the same way, so you can tuck yourselves together. You can begin either way round, and swap afterwards. The objective of the exercise is to synchronize your breathing. You both breathe in and out at the same time, slowly and calmly. One of you leads, and the other follows, sensing the time to breathe in and the time to breath out by feeling the movement of your wife’s body close to you, sound sexy isn’t it? Whenever you permit yourself to give up other thoughts and focus on the each other’s body touching and synchronized breathing, you’ll find this is a wonderfully relaxing and calming method that allows you to develop great feelings of intimacy and oneness to your wife. After you’ve spent five or ten minutes breathing one way, move over so the other person is in front and repeat the procedure.
Posted in Mental Health, Relaxation
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